Footprints

This is my favorite poem of all time. It's no secret I've been through some tough times in my life. I have lost some very important inspirational people who I loved very much. Each time I had to say goodbye, I looked to this poem for guidance. At my mother's funeral. I quoted this poem. Looking back at my experience, I realize I have made my own footprints and learned from others who have left a mark in my path.

Writing is an outlet for me. Writing is something I love to do, and I have been inspired from the beautiful words of my mother and my grandmother. I remember being a little girl, and me meme taking me into work with her and teaching me how to type on a typewriter. I remember getting letters from my mom often, and I used to wonder why she would do this? Why is she writing me these letters and giving them to me when she is right here? Now, I couldn't be more blessed to have those letters to inspire me. I have gotten my gift of writing from two important and inspirational people in my life who I was blessed to be able to be loved by.

Now, I want to mark footprints for Landyn. I want to pave a path of greatness for him so he can look back and remember the first time I took him to do something that inspired something in his life. I want to write for him and give him beautiful words of inspiration and encouragement that I was given. He is my inspiration, and I want to be his.

My favorite quote in this poem is this

"The times when you have seen only one set footprints, is when I carried you."

I can pinpoint the exact times in my life when I needed to be carried. Then I can look back and appreciate all of the times when my mother carried me. When she was my strength and she formed me into the mother I am now. I look back and I am not only inspired by Landyn and what he is doing for me now, but I am also inspired by the amazing women who were in my life and the amounts of love and goodness they put into my heart. I am thankful for the strong women who were a part of my life and I am inspired to be that same kind of a woman now.

I have footprints, experiences in my past that I can look back on and be proud of. I had amazing people pave the way for me and create marks for who I would become, and I had to be carried through them at times to prove how strong I am and how much people love me. The footprints I am laying down now are the most important and most precious ones of my life; the footprints of motherhood. I will walk beside Landyn and pave the way for him just like it was paved for me, and I will forever be grateful and blessed for what I have been given.

Here are mine and Landyn's footprints in the sand....

Blessings,

A year of my sweet baby boy...

I realized I never Blogged this video I put together when LC turned 1. He's now 16 months old, and I wanted to share his first year with you all. There truly has never been a better year of my life!



With Love,

Floating around a sea of possibilities

We at the height are ready to decline.
There is a tide in the affairs of men
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.

-William Shakespeare

As we grow up, we change with what happens in life. We become new people, people with morals, people with hopes and dreams, people with anticipations of the future. Everyday we encounter something new that shapes who we are whether it be something as small as letting someone cut you in the grocery line or something as life altering as the birth of a child. All of these opportunities becomes a part of us, who we are, but most of all, they are the stepping stones of who we will become.

Becoming a mother has changed me. It has changed me in ways I never thought I could be changed into. It has turned my heart into something outside of my body so strong, so rare, that I never even thought it would be possible to feel. Being a mother has changed me into a person I am proud of. A person I admire and better and stronger. A person who means so much more to one small human being than anything else. Being a mother is the best and most rewarding feeling in the world.

Everyday I wake up, and sometimes I wonder, "How did I get here?" I look at all of the obstacles I crossed, friends I met, tragedies I experienced and I asked myself "What did I ever do to deserve a life like this?" Then I look down to the smiling face tugging at my feet and I realize, everyone deserves to experience this. Everyone deserves to experice a miracle like this and a love so strong that you never know what you're missing until it's right in front of you and a part of who you are. Then I realize to myself how blessed I am to have changed. How truly lucky I am to have found myself in such an amazing place in my life. I realize that change isn't always a bad thing, and I am blessed to have made this change with an amazing husband and son who I adore.

I wouldn't have it any other way

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe

I believe people have to make mistakes. We have to be able to learn and evolve into our future. Everything happens for a reason... everything. People fail. People lie. People cheat. People love. People care. People believe. It's all a part of life. We go through life with different persectives. We start out putting our entire lives and trust into our mothers and our fathers. Then we become more independant, we want to learn things for ourselves. And as we get older, we become even more independant and make our decisions. Then we meet new people and they change us. They shape who we are. Our relationships make us into the people we will become. Then it's like it starts all over again, because you meet the person you love and all of a sudden, you're putting your life into someone else's hands again. You learn to trust, to forgive, to love.

Well knowing at the point in life where I am right now and I have this person putting his whole life, his future into my hands is the strongest thing I have ever felt. Being a parent puts a whole new perspective on things. New priorities come to the top of my list. It's not important anymore where my friends are or what they think. Nothing else is as important as my family, and knowing I have this person who counts on me gives me a strong sense of love and comfort that I have never known.

This is the time to live my life. To take advantage of the slowness instead of running through each day like tomorrow is another day, another chance. Now is the time to sit back and take advantage of all life's blessings God has given me. It's my time to live, to love, and to appreciate everything I have. I look back at the person I have grown into, the things I have experienced, and even though they were not all good experiences, I learned from them all and they have shaped me into the mother, the wife, and the person that I am today.... I can't wait to watch as Landyn goes through life with the same experiences and opportunities and turns them into the bright, rewarding future I hope to give him.

With Love,

Platinum First Birthday's??

So I FINALLY have a free moment to share some memories from Landyn's 1st Birthday Bash! Friends and family joked it should be on "Platinum First Birthdays!" Although I'm no Tori Spelling (she does Hansen's cakes, we do Nona's Sweets! ;)), I tried to create some lifelong memories using some "going all out tips" from A List celebs. If there isn't a show on TLC, WE, or any other network... I have some video footage to be your first episode!! ;)

Landyn showed us what a big boy he truly is, and instead of crying, throwing a fit, or hanging on for dear life, he jumped for joy when Elmo came into the room! It was truly a first birthday to remember...

I want to thank all of the special people in his life (and mine!) who were there to share our special day. Please know how important you all are to us and how thankful and blessed we are to have all of you in our lives!

And a special thank you to Wish Upon a Star children's parties for making the kids so happy that day, to Romp N' Roll in Harrisburg for throwing such a great bash, Nona's Sweet's for making the most delicious cakes, and Bum Bum & Button (whimsical parties for children) for making Landyn's First Birthday unforgettable!







With love,

March 10, 2009 10PM

March 10, 2009 at 10pm marked the beginning of everything.....

This time last year, I was counting down the days until my scheduled c section. Nothing could make me take my mind off meeting my little man. Everyday I woke up wondering what he would look like, who he would resemble. Would he have my eyes? What about Kyle's nose? I hoped he wouldn't have Kyle's nose!!

Last year at this time, I had already had an amnio test done to check for lung materity and about a million ultrasounds. All of which showed me that healthy, growing baby inside of me. I had dreams of holding him in my arms, sining him lullabies, snuggling him to sleep.

My c section was scheduled on March 13th, my original due date was the 29th, but because of what the ultrasound was showing (a 10lb baby!!!???) We decided to schedule it sooner. Little did we know.. Landyn Carter had a mind of his own.....

At 10pm on March 10, Kyle and I got into bed to get one of our final full nights of sleep! Oh how I used to love sleeping in, in the mornings! Not 10 seconds after we laid down there it came.....

"Ummm... I think my water just broke."
"What!?"
"MY WATER JUST BROKE!"

Then comes the light,.... and I stand up, and I am COVERED in total wetness. What did we do? Call the DR? Rush to grab my bag that I SHOULD HAVE already packed!? No. We laugh. We laugh like there's not tomorrow! Here I am standing in a puddle of amniotic fluid, drenched in this water. And we are laughing to the point of tears! Oh wait.. you think that's funny? Wait until you hear what my adoring and absently concerning husband says...

"OMG! I have to go shower and shave so I look good for pictures!"

Here I am, waddling with towels between my legs, packing my bags, calling very person in my phonebook to laugh about the unpredicted news.

About 45 minutes later, we are ready to go. Instead of being in a complete rush out the door, I stand in the middle of the kitchen and cry my eyes out! This time it's not a laughing cry, it's an "Oh my God! We are going to have a baby and I don't know what I'm doing!" kind of cry.

After waiting in the delivery room all night with contractions (blissfully unfelt!) THANK GOD, we get prepared and ready for the start of the rest of our lives.....

....Landyn Carter Crowe. A year ago at 8:05am on March 11th graced us with his appearance. Coming into a world of chaos and creating something so simple and perfect.

So I sit here right now on March 10, 2010 and I laugh at the moments leading up to your birth and I remember every little detail from that day forward, and I think surely, life can't get any better than this!

Blessings,