Footprints

This is my favorite poem of all time. It's no secret I've been through some tough times in my life. I have lost some very important inspirational people who I loved very much. Each time I had to say goodbye, I looked to this poem for guidance. At my mother's funeral. I quoted this poem. Looking back at my experience, I realize I have made my own footprints and learned from others who have left a mark in my path.

Writing is an outlet for me. Writing is something I love to do, and I have been inspired from the beautiful words of my mother and my grandmother. I remember being a little girl, and me meme taking me into work with her and teaching me how to type on a typewriter. I remember getting letters from my mom often, and I used to wonder why she would do this? Why is she writing me these letters and giving them to me when she is right here? Now, I couldn't be more blessed to have those letters to inspire me. I have gotten my gift of writing from two important and inspirational people in my life who I was blessed to be able to be loved by.

Now, I want to mark footprints for Landyn. I want to pave a path of greatness for him so he can look back and remember the first time I took him to do something that inspired something in his life. I want to write for him and give him beautiful words of inspiration and encouragement that I was given. He is my inspiration, and I want to be his.

My favorite quote in this poem is this

"The times when you have seen only one set footprints, is when I carried you."

I can pinpoint the exact times in my life when I needed to be carried. Then I can look back and appreciate all of the times when my mother carried me. When she was my strength and she formed me into the mother I am now. I look back and I am not only inspired by Landyn and what he is doing for me now, but I am also inspired by the amazing women who were in my life and the amounts of love and goodness they put into my heart. I am thankful for the strong women who were a part of my life and I am inspired to be that same kind of a woman now.

I have footprints, experiences in my past that I can look back on and be proud of. I had amazing people pave the way for me and create marks for who I would become, and I had to be carried through them at times to prove how strong I am and how much people love me. The footprints I am laying down now are the most important and most precious ones of my life; the footprints of motherhood. I will walk beside Landyn and pave the way for him just like it was paved for me, and I will forever be grateful and blessed for what I have been given.

Here are mine and Landyn's footprints in the sand....

Blessings,

A year of my sweet baby boy...

I realized I never Blogged this video I put together when LC turned 1. He's now 16 months old, and I wanted to share his first year with you all. There truly has never been a better year of my life!



With Love,

A Mother's Love

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. ~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895

People always ask me what my favorite part of being a mom is. I struggle to give them the answer, because there's a list of reason's why I love being a mom. Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be a mom. I used to play house with my friends, and I used to dream of my baby's name's and what they would look like. Then when it became a reality, those dreams became closer to my heart.

I remember rubbing my belly and talking to the growing person inside of me. I had dreams of his ten little fingers and ten cute little toes. I sang to him and I talked to him and I told him mommy would always be here for him. Then when he was born, all of those dreams became a reality. My list of what my favorite part of being a mom was started, and it will never stop. So here they are. My favorite parts about being a mom.

1.) The open mouth kisses & uncontrollable giggles

2.) The little hands rubbing my arm and the cute little cheeks that never seem to go away

3.) The sleepeless nights (yes, I said sleepeless nights) when you snuggle up so close like when you were just hours old

4.) The way you say "gaga" and run up to me with open arms

5.) The feeling my heart has whenever I think about you

 6.) The feeling of love I hold close to my heart and the realization that my mother once had this same love for me

7.) Reading you stories and watching your eyes glow

8.) The innocence you portray and the dreams that glimmer in your eyes

9.) The feeling of closeness you bring to our family and the hope you have brought into my life

10.) The endless amounts of possibilities you have given me to be a better, stronger, and more loving person than I ever thought I could be

This is just the start of my list. The start of what being a mother has done to my heart. Now, I'd like to ask you the same question... What is your favorite part about waking up the toughest, yet most rewarding job we will ever have? Being a mother is filled with endless possibilities.

Floating around a sea of possibilities

We at the height are ready to decline.
There is a tide in the affairs of men
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.

-William Shakespeare

As we grow up, we change with what happens in life. We become new people, people with morals, people with hopes and dreams, people with anticipations of the future. Everyday we encounter something new that shapes who we are whether it be something as small as letting someone cut you in the grocery line or something as life altering as the birth of a child. All of these opportunities becomes a part of us, who we are, but most of all, they are the stepping stones of who we will become.

Becoming a mother has changed me. It has changed me in ways I never thought I could be changed into. It has turned my heart into something outside of my body so strong, so rare, that I never even thought it would be possible to feel. Being a mother has changed me into a person I am proud of. A person I admire and better and stronger. A person who means so much more to one small human being than anything else. Being a mother is the best and most rewarding feeling in the world.

Everyday I wake up, and sometimes I wonder, "How did I get here?" I look at all of the obstacles I crossed, friends I met, tragedies I experienced and I asked myself "What did I ever do to deserve a life like this?" Then I look down to the smiling face tugging at my feet and I realize, everyone deserves to experience this. Everyone deserves to experice a miracle like this and a love so strong that you never know what you're missing until it's right in front of you and a part of who you are. Then I realize to myself how blessed I am to have changed. How truly lucky I am to have found myself in such an amazing place in my life. I realize that change isn't always a bad thing, and I am blessed to have made this change with an amazing husband and son who I adore.

I wouldn't have it any other way

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe

I believe people have to make mistakes. We have to be able to learn and evolve into our future. Everything happens for a reason... everything. People fail. People lie. People cheat. People love. People care. People believe. It's all a part of life. We go through life with different persectives. We start out putting our entire lives and trust into our mothers and our fathers. Then we become more independant, we want to learn things for ourselves. And as we get older, we become even more independant and make our decisions. Then we meet new people and they change us. They shape who we are. Our relationships make us into the people we will become. Then it's like it starts all over again, because you meet the person you love and all of a sudden, you're putting your life into someone else's hands again. You learn to trust, to forgive, to love.

Well knowing at the point in life where I am right now and I have this person putting his whole life, his future into my hands is the strongest thing I have ever felt. Being a parent puts a whole new perspective on things. New priorities come to the top of my list. It's not important anymore where my friends are or what they think. Nothing else is as important as my family, and knowing I have this person who counts on me gives me a strong sense of love and comfort that I have never known.

This is the time to live my life. To take advantage of the slowness instead of running through each day like tomorrow is another day, another chance. Now is the time to sit back and take advantage of all life's blessings God has given me. It's my time to live, to love, and to appreciate everything I have. I look back at the person I have grown into, the things I have experienced, and even though they were not all good experiences, I learned from them all and they have shaped me into the mother, the wife, and the person that I am today.... I can't wait to watch as Landyn goes through life with the same experiences and opportunities and turns them into the bright, rewarding future I hope to give him.

With Love,

Snugglies & Wuvvies!

Landyn was alll snugglies & wuvvies today! (Yes I talk like I'm a child with him!) We were full of smooches and snuggles alll day today, and it was GREAT!!!!

Up until the last few weeks, he has not wanted to snuggle AT ALL, and ever since he was a teeny tiny little man he would NOT sleep on me! It was so sad, because I used to love that time with him.

Well a few weeks ago he had some kind of a stomach bug, and slept on me for the first time since forever ago! And he's done it quite a bit every since!

Today, he didn't want anything but mama, and it was the best feeling in the world!!



Blessings,

Love Note

A mommy posted on Charlotte Mommies today about how her child's school asked all of the parents to write their children a love note to be read out loud to the kids at school in honor of Valentine's Day.

I automatically thought of all of the amazing handwritten letters I have from my mom and how much I miss her and cherish those words in my heart. I realized the purpose of this blog was to do that for Landyn and for myself, but I also realized how important it is for me to hand write letters to him so he has them when he gets older to cherish when I'm not around too. My favorite possession is my letters and photos from my mother so I can remember what an amazing person she was and how much she inspired me and has shaped the person and mother that I am today.

Landyn Carter, you are my joy. You make me smile on days when I feel like there's nothing to smile about. You make me laugh in the morning when I feel too tired to move. You make me proud of what your dad and I have become and what we have brought into this world; and you make me the happiest and luckiest mom in the world. Here is my love note to you...

Dear Landyn,
When I was a little girl my cousin Katie and I used to play "mommy." She always had a baby girl, and I always had a baby boy. I used to pretend change diapers, feed my baby with a bottle, and snuggle that baby to sleep. I had dreams of being a mommy even when I didn't know how much love a mommy could feel. You have made my dreams come true. You have made me feel those feelings of love, hope, joy, and pride. You have given me the most amazing gift, and I look at you; my son, and I cry tears or amazement at what your daddy and I have made. I see what my mom saw when she looked at me, and seeing that makes everything feel alive.

You make me feel alive Landyn Carter and for that I will be forever grateful to you. I look forward to every day with you, and I can't express to you enough how much fondness and love I hold for you in my heart.

Tomorrow may not be the same as today, and a year from now will be different too, but always know, I am always here for you and I will always support you and I hope you can look back on these words and cherish them like I do from my mom. I wish she were here with us today to see the life I have made for myself and to be able to give you the kisses and hugs she used to give to me, I can only hope I can give you the same sense of comfort she used to give to me.

I love you and someday, you will be able to understand and feel that love too.

Your first Valentines Day is like any other first in your life, and your daddy and I will cherish this first just like any other and the 2nds, 3rds, 4ths, 5ths and more to come.

I love you monkey, and that will never, ever change.




With Love,